SQL programs are the cockroaches of the IT world.

Back in the dark days when World War III threatened us with imminent nuclear oblivion, we were told that cockroaches and other insects were the highest form of life that would survive. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that SQL programs, like cockroaches, will surive anything that the IT world can throw at them.

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SQL is a way of getting useful information from databases ,like ‘get me all Bank Customers with an account balances greater than 10,000 Euro’. It’s been around since the stone age and it is strongly suspected that the ancient Egyptians were familar with it’s earlier forms. Given that at least part of most systems talk to a database, it is probably the most widely used programming language in the world. It’s the most widely used because it’s the most useful : do one thing and do one thing well.

However, you get into trouble when you use SQL in ways nature never intended. Once you step beyond the ‘get me this’ or ‘update that’ you’re in trouble. Like a 12m high cockroach from a 1950’s Horror Movie, your code is out of control. Even Oracle are migrating to a Java stack to implement business logic outside of the core database engine.

By way of apology to any Oracle or SQL-Server progammers offended by this post, I’ll share the news that I’m my way to getting Oracle certified. It’s Oracle Exam SQL-007 [pdf] and if you understand that , you’ll know that while it’s not bad for a Java person, guys like Donal Daly , Mark Rittman and Scott Spendolini aren’t under threat from me just yet.

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